When I Grow Up I Want To Be A Marxist Mogul

"Patrisse Cullors is making a big step into the television business.

The co-founder of Black Lives Matter has signed her first over overall deal with Warner Bros. Television Group. Characterized as multi-year and wide-ranging, the pact will see Cullors develop and produce original programming across all platforms, including broadcast, cable and streaming.

Cullors’ agreement encompasses scripted and unscripted series, longform series, animated and kids programming, as well as digital content. Together, WBTVG and Cullors will look to amplify the work of the Black Lives Matter, which Cullors started alongside Alicia Garza and  Opal Tometi back in 2013, and create more opportunities for prominent Black storytelling. Precise terms for the deal have not been disclosed." Variety, 10-15-20

TO: Patrisse at BLM

FROM: Joel at WB

SUBJECT: our sweet new deal!

Patrisse! Baby! Welcome to the club, kiddo. I just wanted to say how thrilled I am to be working with you.  Actually- and I bet you don't know this- we've worked together before!  Remember that little skirmish in LA between some of your guys and a couple of my bodyguards? The ones with the Magnums? That was me!  Oh and hey, sorry about the damage to your guys. But you'll understand when you have your own Mercedes-Maybach to protect, am I right?  BTW I'll be happy to  introduce you to my dealer any time. In face, all of my dealers (wink, wink!).

Anyway.  I'm sure we'll have a lot to talk abut over the coming weeks, but straight off the bat I wanted to talk about a couple of possible projects. Are you with me? Let's go!

1. I call this one "Blonde and Black."  The adventures of an East-Coast girl who longs to fight for black equality.  One day she gets the idea that if she steals her daddy's Platinum card and utilizes her Ivy League knowledge of finance, she can leverage her industrialist dad (white scum! Oppressor of the people! you know the drill) - her dad's empire to equip a brigade of elite BLM supersoldiers who will fight for the cause. Think Star Wars meets Thug Life.  Release around Christmastime. It can't miss.

2. "Up From Great Neck." NJB nerd-type is befriended by BLM-justice warrior type.  They bond, they learn, they get arrested together-- but which one will actually do time? A moral dilemma for them both. Tug at those heartstrings, baby. 

3. "The Justice Mamas." Remember that video of the black - uh, African-American woman dragging her son home from a protest in , what was it, Chicago? Well picture this: that week, the mom goesto her book club and finds out their next read is "Stamped From The Beginning" by that Ibram Kendi guy. She has an awakening, begs her son to forgive her, and pledges that from now on she will riot- uh, protest at his side. Sort of a chick read meets YA. Bestseller, I promise.

All this is just for starters. Can't wait to meet next week. we are going to do great things together, Patrisse! Power to the People! Black Lives Matter! Silence is violence! Money money MONEY!

Talk to you soon,

Joel