So That's Why Rosie Keeps Calling!
From today's NYT:
"Gay By Design, or a Lifestyle Choice?"
"...A few years ago, Meghan Daum, an op-ed contributor to The Los Angeles Times, wrote about a promising first date with a man that never led to a second one because, she later learned, the guy saw that she drove a Subaru Outback station wagon and concluded she must be a lesbian.
"Subaru has been the most prominent company to embrace the gay market. As long ago as 2000, the automaker created advertising campaigns around Martina Navratilova, the gay tennis star, and also used a sales slogan that was a subtle gay-rights message: “It’s not a choice. It’s the way we’re built.” Little wonder that many lesbians refer to their Outbacks as “Lesbarus."
[Phone rings. DIH answers.]
"Hello? Oh, Miss Navratilova. Um, ok, 'Martina.' Yes, that was my car. Uh-huh. Subaru Outback, champagne color. ... Why? Well, I live in Minnesota, I wanted something that would be reliable in the snow..... No, really, that's it. You what? I'm sorry, I don't play tennis, so 'working on my backhand' isn't something I'd be interested in... No no, don't take it personally, I just don't play-- I'm not... No, I am defintitely NOT up for 'a few sets.' Listen, I have to get dinner. Goodbye."
[Phone rings. DIH answers.]
"Hello? Ellen who? Oh, hi. Loved you on the Oscars... your cousin works at the DMV, huh? Well, I'm sure you must be very proud... Yes, I remember Anne Heche. I agree, she did manage to get quite a career going...Um, actually, Ms. Degeneres, I'm a writer, not an actress- uh, actor. Whichever.... Well, I'll certainly keep that in mind. Bye now."
[Phone rings. DIH sighs, answers.]
"Hello. Yes, hello, Rosie. I thought I asked you... Hey, don't get all steamed at me, I wasn't... Well for your information I think Barbara's a very nice woman! ..I did NOT say 'Babwa'... OK, O'Donnell, I don't have to listen to this. I hope you don't eat with that mouth!"
Sigh. Why, oh why didn't they keep that cute Australian guy in the ads?
"Gay By Design, or a Lifestyle Choice?"
"...A few years ago, Meghan Daum, an op-ed contributor to The Los Angeles Times, wrote about a promising first date with a man that never led to a second one because, she later learned, the guy saw that she drove a Subaru Outback station wagon and concluded she must be a lesbian.
"Subaru has been the most prominent company to embrace the gay market. As long ago as 2000, the automaker created advertising campaigns around Martina Navratilova, the gay tennis star, and also used a sales slogan that was a subtle gay-rights message: “It’s not a choice. It’s the way we’re built.” Little wonder that many lesbians refer to their Outbacks as “Lesbarus."
[Phone rings. DIH answers.]
"Hello? Oh, Miss Navratilova. Um, ok, 'Martina.' Yes, that was my car. Uh-huh. Subaru Outback, champagne color. ... Why? Well, I live in Minnesota, I wanted something that would be reliable in the snow..... No, really, that's it. You what? I'm sorry, I don't play tennis, so 'working on my backhand' isn't something I'd be interested in... No no, don't take it personally, I just don't play-- I'm not... No, I am defintitely NOT up for 'a few sets.' Listen, I have to get dinner. Goodbye."
[Phone rings. DIH answers.]
"Hello? Ellen who? Oh, hi. Loved you on the Oscars... your cousin works at the DMV, huh? Well, I'm sure you must be very proud... Yes, I remember Anne Heche. I agree, she did manage to get quite a career going...Um, actually, Ms. Degeneres, I'm a writer, not an actress- uh, actor. Whichever.... Well, I'll certainly keep that in mind. Bye now."
[Phone rings. DIH sighs, answers.]
"Hello. Yes, hello, Rosie. I thought I asked you... Hey, don't get all steamed at me, I wasn't... Well for your information I think Barbara's a very nice woman! ..I did NOT say 'Babwa'... OK, O'Donnell, I don't have to listen to this. I hope you don't eat with that mouth!"
Sigh. Why, oh why didn't they keep that cute Australian guy in the ads?
I am so confused. You live with yourself for 46 years, then one day you discover that because you bought a certain car, you're gay. I read the article to see if my purchase of a New Beetle would indicate that my entire life to this point has been a sham. Alas, it is. The sad part is my wife and I bought a pair of Beetles! Maybe we can keep the marriage together for appearances sake. I'm not a blogger so I'll post as Anonymous, but I'm really Bill...
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