Why I Hate My Horoscope
This is Aries for today :
"The planets encourage you to stretch you powers of imagination, observation and memory."
The planets are a little late on that last one. They should've toldme to stretch the memory cells earlier. If they had Imight not have shown up at 8am for a dentist's appointment that isn't until two o'clock.
Thanks, planets.
Of course, the prospect of stretching my imagination is not exactly a thrill, either. Or at least so I thought, until I turned to today's "Blog of Note" that dear old Blogger recommends:
"Surviving Hollywood."
Aspiring screenwriters submit taglines for their proposed scrrenplays. (Oh dear, DIH just used "aspiring" and "proposed" in the same sentence. Never, never, never get up this early for a dentist again.)
If their submissions are any competition then stretching one's imagination ain't what it used to be.
Some blockbuster ideas:
A YOUNG WOMAN THINKS SHE'S GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO BE AN ACTRESS, SO SHE AUDITIONS FOR A ROLE OF A LIFETIME ON A HIT NEW SHOW CALLED "JUST FOR ONCE" AND STRUGGLES.
A YOUNG MAN HOPES TO START A NEW LIFE IN MIAMI,HE GETS A JOB AS A BUSBOY AT A THEATER,WHEN ONE ACTOR ENDS UP,HE ENDS UP FILLING THE PART,AND BLOWS OFF THE ROOF.
COUNTRY GIRL MOVES TO HOLLYWOOD AND MEETS A CELEBRITY THAT SHE FALLS IN LOVE WITH. BUT ANOTHER GIRL WANTS HIM JUST FOR HIS MONEY AND U HAVE TO WIN HIS HEART.
True, taglines always sound a little on the hokey side. But come on- understudy goes on and blows off the roof? What, has somebody resurrected Ruby Keeler or something? Hey- there's an idea!
BROADWAY SHOW NEEDS UNDERSTUDY TO BLOW OFF THE ROOF, SO MAD SCIENTIST PRODUCER DIGS UP 30'S FILM STAR AND CLONES HER USING HER DNA...
I better get some coffee. Or some more sleep. Or something.
"The planets encourage you to stretch you powers of imagination, observation and memory."
The planets are a little late on that last one. They should've toldme to stretch the memory cells earlier. If they had Imight not have shown up at 8am for a dentist's appointment that isn't until two o'clock.
Thanks, planets.
Of course, the prospect of stretching my imagination is not exactly a thrill, either. Or at least so I thought, until I turned to today's "Blog of Note" that dear old Blogger recommends:
"Surviving Hollywood."
Aspiring screenwriters submit taglines for their proposed scrrenplays. (Oh dear, DIH just used "aspiring" and "proposed" in the same sentence. Never, never, never get up this early for a dentist again.)
If their submissions are any competition then stretching one's imagination ain't what it used to be.
Some blockbuster ideas:
A YOUNG WOMAN THINKS SHE'S GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO BE AN ACTRESS, SO SHE AUDITIONS FOR A ROLE OF A LIFETIME ON A HIT NEW SHOW CALLED "JUST FOR ONCE" AND STRUGGLES.
A YOUNG MAN HOPES TO START A NEW LIFE IN MIAMI,HE GETS A JOB AS A BUSBOY AT A THEATER,WHEN ONE ACTOR ENDS UP,HE ENDS UP FILLING THE PART,AND BLOWS OFF THE ROOF.
COUNTRY GIRL MOVES TO HOLLYWOOD AND MEETS A CELEBRITY THAT SHE FALLS IN LOVE WITH. BUT ANOTHER GIRL WANTS HIM JUST FOR HIS MONEY AND U HAVE TO WIN HIS HEART.
True, taglines always sound a little on the hokey side. But come on- understudy goes on and blows off the roof? What, has somebody resurrected Ruby Keeler or something? Hey- there's an idea!
BROADWAY SHOW NEEDS UNDERSTUDY TO BLOW OFF THE ROOF, SO MAD SCIENTIST PRODUCER DIGS UP 30'S FILM STAR AND CLONES HER USING HER DNA...
I better get some coffee. Or some more sleep. Or something.
Here's mine:
ReplyDeleteFilipino manservant runs away to Milwaukee, only to find a severe pudding shortage, for which he is blamed. He goes underground as a transgendered lizard to break up the tapioca smuggling cartel working at the local pub.