On The Subject of the Day

Well it looks like an interesting week ahead for DIH. The new puppy remains to be housebroken and Michael Moore's latest documentary unleashed. What a coincidence! If one of them isn't giving it to me the other one will be. Busy, busy, busy.

I can't wait to see the headlines, the clips, the "Daily Variety" input and oh, dare I hope for "South Park"? Really, it's the sort of thing that can get me leaping out of bed in the a.m.

But even though I havent' seen reports yet- except fot that photo of MM on the non-regulation red carpet, where he apparently appeared as the poster child for America's obesity problem-- I wanted to share some thoughts. Mostly, given that I've also been catching up on "South Park" lately, in re: Canada.

Canada, you will recall, is revered by the reporters of the MSP as a virtual heaven of health care. Why can't we be more like Canada? they moan. Canada has perfect health care! And it's all free! We should copy Canada! WAAH!

One thing DIH knows for sure: none of those reporters has ever gotten sick in Canada.

Shortly after her arrival in the great state of MInnesota DIH joined a couple of friends on a jaunt to Sault Ste.Marie. The occasion was not their annual winter carnival, which I gather lasts from October to June, but a weekend seminar in hap ki do. The instructor was a famous guy in the martial arts world and we were ready for get ourselves scarred for life in an attempt to learn from him.

Anyway, one of my friends got pretty seriously sick while we were there. The master took her aside.

"Go home,' he said firmly. "Drive back across the border right now if you want to get treatment. Let me tell you a story." The grandmaster, who was 60 or so, had a heart condition. He'd had one or two attacks already when one day he felt chest pains. He stopped at an emergency room in the Soo. "Make an appointment," they said.

"But I've had two attacks. I know the signs. This could be serious."

"Make an appointment," they repeated.

Now as any well- informed person knows, this "don't call us, we'll call you" act is par for the course at any government agency. AND IN CANADA, HEALTH CARE IS A GOVERNMENT AGENCY.

Do I have to say more? Okay, if you insist.

Shortly after my return from the Great White North I was chatting with another mom waiting for her kid outside some dance class or something. She had gone to university in Canada and couldn't say enough about the place. "And such lovely health care!" she gushed. "Why, I broke my leg there and they couldn't have been nicer about it!"

"Really?" said DIH. "Because from what I hear emergency care is pretty much kaput up there."

She thought about it. "Well, now that you mention it, there was one odd thing. They were very sweet about setting the bone, but then they told me I had to go to another hospital to get a cast put on. I thought that was odd."

I don't know this for a fact but I'm guessing Canada has incredibly strict gun control laws. Otherwise how would they avoid an armed rebellion? We might have to pay a lot for health care, but jeez, at least we get what we pay for. Canadians are taxed up the wazoo and they get to handle their own heart attacks and broken legs.

Michael Moore and my puppy have so much in common. I should get those two together. Now, while the puppy is still in her biting phase.