Monday, September 06, 2010

On Why It Doesnt' Pay To Get Too Picky About One's Authortiy

Yesterday DIH got lucky. That's right, she and daughter won the "Wicked" tickets lottery.

So we got two orchestra seats for last night's performance for 2 buck each. A pretty good deal, no?

When it was time to take our sets the head usher took one look at 5'2" DIH and shorter child and said, "And if you think you might need a cushion, just tell those people over there."
I was puzzled, but they seemed to know what they were doing, so I said, "Sure, let's get cushions." And a nice young man gave us a pair of extra seat cushions.

When we got to our seats we found out why.

Now you have to understand, this is Minnesota. They grow 'em big in Minnesota. We were seated directly behind a pair of 6 foot=plus types.

I sighed. "Here, sweetie, you better take both of these. " I piled the cushions on my daughter's seat so she could at least occasionally peek at the stage.

This action provoked two things: a sniff from the woman behind us and a rush-to-duty by the nearest usher.

"No no no!" snapped the usher, at my kid, mind you, while I'm sitting right there. "You can't do that! You have to make sure the people behind you can see!"

"Really?" piped up DIH, interested. I pointed at the six-footers. "So, what are you going to do about them?"

At this the usher, no doubt suddenly realizing what she'd started, froze. "Uhh... um..."

"I mean," DIH went on helpfully, "are you going to tell them they need to make sure we can see over them?" And how, DIH wondered, precisely are you going to do that?

Now the usher was stuck. She turned to the sighing woman behind us. "Um- um- I can get you a cushion, too," she declared.

Now sighing woman spoke. "Oh, I wouldn't want to create a ripple effect."

Now I felt sorry for the usher, Almost.

Luckily, the six-footers turned around and offered to swap places with us. We gratefully accepted the offer.

Now comes the weird part: "This must happen to you all the time at the theater," I said to the tall pair.

And they looked puzzled. "No. No. actually, it's never happened before."

Another one of those reminders that you just ain't in Kansas- I mean, Long Island- any more.


bearing said...

We need the Procrustean theater...

I'm not even five feet tall. I hear you.

Anonymous said...

Really - you short people!!! ;-) Grow would you -

On another note I took the 6 kids to the theater on Sat. and it was not crowded; so where does the couple with the little kid park themself...right in front of us - adult in front of my 3 year old ...where do you suppose the 5 yr. old kid was, yep in front of me 5'9" - gee thanks cuz I might not have been able to see...