Monday, December 10, 2007

People of Faith

I guess it's a better phrase than "I'm spiritual." I mean, come on, if you can actually speak that phrase you have to be corporeal, right?

Mitt Romney declared the other day that he would be true to "the faith of [his] fathers." I think he may be onto something there.

In fact, I'm considering coming out for the faith of my fathers, myself. That's right, the Druids. They were into trees and bushes and the parasites that grew on them. Like misteltoe.

But I'd have to start a reform movement first. No more misteltoe. Too awkward-making, misteltoe.

Unless you're really going to make a sport of misteltoe-shooting. Last time I was in a Carolina swamp a lady bragged to me that her daddy went and shot the misteltoe off the big oaks with a shotgun every Christmas. That's nothing, another lady sniffed, my daddy used a rifle.

So their Christmas traditions included blowing the brains out of defenseless plant life. I wonder if they could be talked into aiming at other plants. Like forsythia. Man, I hate forsythia. Bright screaming yellow - gives me a headache.

But I was speaking of misteltoe. And Druids. And Christmas traditions.

Maybe I'd better not get started on that subject.

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