More Striking Thoughts

DIH spent Saturday and Sunday cleaning out her attic.

[wild applause]

Thank you, thank you. It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it. [someone hums national anthem]

On Monday morning, DIH went to her Pilates class.

[awestruck gasps]

And on Monday evening, she went to her first tae kwon do class in five years.

[SHOCKED gasps]

The result of all this virtuous activity is DIH now has a cramp in her right thigh that requires her to scream every five minutes. So she has decided to work at home today, in order to scream in privacy.

But I have a plan. They're sure to notice I'm missing at the coffee shop sooner or later. I mean, who else hogs the sole electrical outlet for hours at a time? Yep, sooner or later some customer is gonna say, "Hey-- didn't this place used to have a certain literary , um, you know, tone? Or do I mean panache? What do you mean, there's no writer on the premises? Who am I going to consult on my choice of words? Has she gone on strike, too? What are we going to do about this? Meet her demands at once- offer her free java! And I don't mean house blend, I mean triple lattes! Extra shots! Whatever it takes, we've got to get her back! "

Oh yeah. Any minute now, they're gonna cave. I can feel it in my central nervous system.