Monday, February 04, 2008

On The Eve

Tomorrow is Super Tuesday. A couple dozen primaries and caucuses and kaffeeklatches. McCain or Romney. Or Huckabee, I suppose. Hillary or Barack. CNN or CSpan.

On the eve of this important part of the electoral process, DIH wonders if her fellow countrymen have considered the important questions.

If Mitt Romney gets the nomination will he have to go around saying how much he loves Obama because Mormons love black people, they really really do?
And if he gets elected, wouldn't that mean a dry White House? Has he considered the repercussions of offering the press a glass of Clamato at receptions? And don't imagine for a minute offering the press corps free Franklin Covey organizers will mollify them.

What do we have to do to get McCain's mother to go home? Short of electing her son.
And how come we never hear from Mama Obama? And is she any relation to Bahama Mama? "Mama Obama Had A Bahama Mama." That's a song, isn't it? Mama Obama had a Bahama Mama and she went out and shot at Osama... all right, it needs work.

Will anyone be able to say "President Huckabee" without snickering? What kind of a name is that, anyway?

What happens if Barack Obama cries? Hmm? Does that make him a sensitive man or a Hillary copycat? Clearly a no-win situation. Suck it up, Barack.

If Hillary wins, what will happen to the White House Internship program? Or the Secret Service application pool?

What's Huckabee going to do after he loses? Shill for Weight Watchers? Jared already has Subway all sewn up. Maybe Huck could sell those new McDonald's salads. I had one once, they're pretty good.

Oh, heck. Thank God tomorrow's Mardi Gras. This campaign is giving DIH a headache. Just in time to kick off Lent.

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