Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Heightism Straight Up

Michelle Obama recently complained that once when she was in a Target store, some woman had the nerve to ask her to get something down from a shelf.

Mrs. Obama, who is 5'11, relates the story here:

"This kind of thing happens in America every day,"  she told DIH.  "Really, it's a national disgrace."

"Tall women are constantly being subjected to heightism," Rev. Al Shrimpton added.  "'Get me this.' 'Get me that.' 'How's the weather up there?' Where is the outrage?  Where are the protestors?  And where the hell are the stepladders- can't people just use a stepladder?"

"Mrs. Obama is First Lady of the United States," White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest said today.  "That some shopper had the nerve to ask her to reach something, well, it's- um, nervy.  The First Lady has more important things to reach for than a box of Root Touch-Up."

"She should've dropped it on the little runt's head!" Venus Williams, at 6'1", says she's had similar experiences.  "I took my niece's kindergarten class to an apple orchard once.  Can you believe some of those kids wanted me to pick them an apple from the top of the tree?  Obviously they're being raised to believe this kind of thing is completely normal."

Blogger Desperate Irish Housewife, 5'2, has issued an apology to the First Lady on behalf of all short women.  "'Petite Privilege has no place in America,"  she said today.  "We the five- foot- four- and- unders deplore that shopper's lack of sensitivity.  Tall women face serious obstacles today.  Low ceilings, short pants, and of course there's no such thing as free alterations.  We are glad the First Lady has brought the public's attention to this important issue.  We applaud her bravery as well as her height.  And we urge her not to give up the fight for height equality. Stand tall, Mrs. O! Keep looking down on the rest of us!"


Foxfier said...

*suspicious* Did you write that entire thing JUST for the last line?

It's worth it, mind you, but I gotta ask.

Sue said...

Foxfier- nope.

Foxfier said...

*sigh* That just goes to show how much heightism has infested the language-- down? Why don't you just ask the nearest "tall person" to drop it for you?


Anonymous said...

I am a height bigot! there I got that off my chest. Twice last night I asked vertically endowed males in my house to reach things up high. I am such a racist, wait they were white.... I am soooo confused. I need a federal program to tell me what to do