Thursday, February 27, 2014

It's Raffle Time Again!

Every October, Our Lady of Peace Through Strength grammar school holds a fundraiser,  It's a marathon. The kids pledge to trot around a small lake, we pledge to pay them.
Every year we are told. "And remember-- this is the only fundraiser we have!"

Then in February every kid comes home with a pile of raffle tickets.  At five bucks a pop, every kid is expected to sell at least 80 tickets.

Somehow this doesn't count as a fundraiser. 

Having no family for a thousand miles to unload them on, my daughter looks to me to buy them.  Four hundred bucks.  Best of all, I get to fill out all the stubs by hand.  It takes days.

The grand prize for the raffle is a car.  Now, I could certainly use a new car.  The old '02 Subaru is starting to feel her age.

So last night I took pen in hand and starting filling out raffle tickets.

How do you  know you're a Catholic when you're filling out 80 raffle ticket stubs?  If your thoughts run this kind of course:

Tickets 1-10:  Hey, what am I complaining about?  I could win a car!  I'd love to win a car!  I can see myself pullling into the carpool line now, dazzling the other moms with my shiny new car glory!

Tickets 11-20:  I probably won't win, though.  I didnt' win last year. Or the year before that, or the year before that....

Tickets 21-30:  Besides, I don't really need a new car yet.  And think of all the people who really need one.

Tickets 31-40:  Those poor people!  What was I thinking?  They need to win, not me... Oh, dear God, Avarice must be my middle name....

Tickets 41-50:  I am a terrible person. 

Tickets 51-60:  My hand hurts.

Tickets 61-70:  My hand really hurts.  Fine, I'll offer it up for the souls in Purgatory.  Who better remember what I did for them, because this is a major pain in the neck and four hundred dollars is a major chunk of change!  The things I do for the Purgatorians.  And what have they done for me lately?  Hey guys, here's an idea-- why don't you see if you can help me win a new car?

Tickets 71-80:  BECAUSE I WANT THAT CAR, DAMMIT.

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