Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Boycott Girl Scout Cookies

A number pf pro-life groups have announced their intention to boycott the annual Girl Scout Cookie drive.  Since the Girl Scouts are now officially in bed with Planned Parenthood, this only makes sense.

But what about the other groups who should be boycotting the GSCs?  Where are their voices?

You may be wondering who these other folks are.  It's very simple:

ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY  LIKES COOKIES.

Have you eaten a Girl Scout cookie in the last ten years?  Dry.  Boring.  Tasteless.  Mint Thins?  Don't make me laugh.  You get a mintier experience out of toothpaste.  Tastier, too.

"Samoas."  Oh yeah, right.  Throw in a couple of flakes of coconut and suddenly you're in Polynesia.  It's a joke. Not to mention an insult to Samoans everywhere.

The butter cookies might still be okay.  Not that there's much-- or any- real butter in them.

All in all, even compared to your average storebought cookie, the Girl Scout products are the worst. 

Do you love cookies?  Then stand up for them!  Stand up for cookies!  Mix up a batch of Toll House, or buy a box of Oreos.  Tell the Girl Scouts of America you've had it with tasteless treats that people only buy because they feel guilty about not helping the Brownies.  Tell them you're not going to be pushed around any more!  No more Girl Scout cookies!

Until they at least LEARN HOW TO BAKE, damn it!


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