Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Where's Emily Post When You Need Her?

Well, this is it, people:  as of 8pm Rome time tonight we shall be officially popeless.  We know next to  nothing- well, nothing really- about where the Church will go from here.  All we know for sure is that Josef Ratzinger will take the title "pope emeritus,"  and he will continue to wear the white cassock that only the  Pope wears.

So, we all see the difficultly with this, right?  From now on there will be two guys running around in white cassocks.    Call me simple, but I'm telling that to all the world that's going to look like two popes.

Of course it isn't that simple.  We can only have one pope at a time.  But mark my words, this two-guys-in-white thing is going to cause problems.

For example:  what if they both show up at the same dinner party?  Dressed exactly alike?  Honestly, wouldn't you just die?  And forget about any of that "just pretend you don't notice" nonsense.  People will notice.  Trust me.

And if you imagine no one will make comparisons, dream on.  Ratzinger with those blue eyes and thick white hair?  He looked fabulous in white.  Didn't make him look fat, either.  You think the next guy will have the same luck?  I certainly would not put any money on that.  I've seen how some Italians look in white.  Not thin, for one thing.

Well, we can only hope for the best.  Pray for the cardinal electors and for Benedict in his retirement, and hope for the best.

But one more thing, my co-relgionists:  do not, under any circumstances, go around singing "Sur le pint d'Avignon."

Don't even hum it.

No comments: