I decided what to give up for Lent: bread. I love bread. Especially when it's the underside of a pizza. So I boldly promised to give up pizza as well.
All right, tell me if this sounds familiar.
Ash Wednesday, 9am. Planning what to have for dinner. Decide: salmon. Yum.
AW, 2pm. Check calendar, which until recently only said "Ash Wednesday." Notice something else: "basketball game, 6:15." Make deal with spouse: You take the kid to the game, I'll follow in my own car so I can get dinner ready.
AW, 5:45 pm. Waiting for game to start. Spouse announces he'll skip dinner and go to gym instead. DIH's resolve to broil salmon weakens.
AW, 6pm. Check iphone for emails. What's this? A coupon from fave pizza place? "Two for one night?" Dinner problem solved! I mean why waste food, right? And since spouse not coming home for salmon there's really no point to going all out with the broiler pan, is there? Besides this game won't be over until 7, it'll take 35 minutes to get home... who needs to scrub broiler pans at 9 o'clock at night?
AW, 6pm-7pm. Thinking pizza thoughts. "Buy one with sun dried tomatoes, get one with eggplant for free. Perfect." Also, since now there;s no need, I don't leave the game early to go home and start dinner.
7pm. Spouse changes his mind about gym. Decides he will just come home for dinner after all.
7pm- 7:01. Wrestle with conscience.
7:01 Check emails again. Coupon is still there. Opportunity not merely knocking but banging the door down.
7:25. Standing on line at pizza place.
8:15 Home again, chowing down on eggplant pizza.
So let's see, not even 24 hours into Lent and already screwing up. I wonder if there's a "but I had a coupon" section anywhere in the Catechism. I should look that up.