Monday, January 30, 2012

Who Is Buck Denver and Why Won't He Leave Me Alone?

Dear Phil Vischer,

Before I say anything else I want you to know: I was a huge fan of Veggie Tales. I was a proto-fan of Veggie Tales. I bought the first DVDs back when you could only get them in little Christian tchachke shops and anyone wearing a Miraculous Medal got funny looks from the kids behind the counter.

And I spread the Veggie word. I introduced my niece and nephews to VT. I gave VT videos as birthday presents. I wanted the world to know about Bob and Larry.

Well, we all know how the Veggies turned out. Or we know as much as we can know, from your book on the subject. "Bob and Larry and Me?' Was that the title? I couldn't find my copy just now to check.

It was a shame, Phil. And I feel four you.

But none of this means I am willing to put up with Buck Denver turning up on every damn web page I open.

[Readers: Buck Denver is a puppet. He stars in a new series by Mr. Vischer that introduced kids to the Bible. He is the dullest looking puppet you've ever seen, devoid of personality. He would never make it as a Muppet.]

I know, I know. You want me to buy the series. But I'm sorry, Phil. I'm just not inspired to buy it. It doesn't grab me. The problem is Buck. He looks so dull. You know what he looks like? A Mormon elder, only with a jacket on. Could he be any duller?

Put it this way: he's no Larry the Cucumber. And t doesn't help that he turns up on every web page. He's not only dull, he's pushy. I hate pushy. Larry the Cucumber was never pushy. Okay, Bob the Tomato was, sometimes, But he had Larry to put him in his place. Who does Buck have? No one I've seen so far.

So please, Phil, take you ads out of my life. When I want to read Instapundit I want Instapundit, not Buck Denver. And shoving him down my throat like this is not going to change my mind.

1 comment:

Nancy said...

He's the Microsoft paperclip, re-incarnated. (I still have to contend with that d**n paper clip at work. I want to throw a stapler at it!)