Thursday, January 27, 2011

East Coast Buried, All Calm Here

New York City got hit with 19 inches of snow yesterday. The Big Apple shut down. Now that takes a lot of snow.

Here in the Mini-Ap, we've reached another stage in our annual snow collection. We are at the stage where we start hoping for the occasional dusting, so that pretty new white snow will cover up the grey heaps that are all over the landscape at this point. Makes it a little less depressing.

I am not one to snark at any other city's inability to deal with a blizzard. Far from it. I lived in D.C. for ten years, I know how it goes. At the first rumor of a snowfall everyone heads to the Safeway and strips it bare of milk, bread and eggs. Then they go home, not necessarily ready for disaster but definitely on top of things should the urge to make French toast seize them as they watch the snow pile up. It's very Washington, in a way. "Ready the irrelevant!" Catchy battle cry.

Actually our big concern here nowadays is the inevitable thaw. That's when all the ice dams on everybody's roofs will start leaking into their living rooms. Have you always wanted an indoor pool? Now's your chance to get one cheap.

So while our neighbors to the East dig out from under the snowdrifts, we here in the Upper Midwest are breaking out the beach towels. A sun lamp, a boom box and your living room- or attic, or whatever- becomes a regular Riviera. Think of all the shoveling those chic New Yorkers are doing right now. But don't gloat. Spring is never as close as you wish it were.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

BWP in Space

Tonight I will be interviewed on the Busted Halo show, on Sirius Satellite Radio. That's at 7:20 pm my time (Central), 8:20 on the East Coast.

Today was a good day for Desperate. Ever since "Breakfast with the Pope" came out, I have endeavored to do what all good authors must do and sell books. And today, I sold one. I was in Barnes and Noble, standing around the "Religion" aisle, looking admiringly at my book right there on the shelf. I do this a lot. It's my new hobby.

Anyway there was a woman standing a few feet away from me, browsing some other religion books. Well, I said to myself. She's obviously interested in the subject. I think I can help her out.

"That's my book," I said, pointing.

She looked confused. "Did you leave it there?"

"No no," I said. "I wrote it. It's my book."

"Oh, well then," she said. "Since I've met the author I suppose I have to buy it."

"Yes," I said. "Yes, that's what it means."

See? I think I'm getting pretty good at this author stuff.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Good News, Bad News

The good news: I have successfully put away all the Christmas china. So long 'til next year.

The bad news: I can't remember where I hid the everyday china.

Looks like it's paper plate time.

Monday, January 03, 2011

Horns From Hell

All right.

I approve of champagne. I think the little party hats are funny. I can tolerate the little horns and the noisemakers and the confetti.

BUT WHO THE HELL THOUGH OF NEW YEAR'S EVE VUVUZELAS?

AND WHAT DIRE ENEMY GAVE MY KID ONE?

Sunday, January 02, 2011

January 2

Yours truly bailed on a New Year's celebration last night owing to a bout of stomach flu. Now I think my daughter is coming down with it. So far 2011 is not off to an auspicious start.

However, I am taking it all in stride. I have made my New Years' resolutions- only two, and easy ones, so I should actually be able to keep them.

The trouble with New Year's resolutions, for me, is I can't tell the difference between a list of resolutions and a to-do list. I mean, "learn Spanish" has been on my list for years, On all my lists, in fact. I decided this year it was more of a to-do item than a resolution, so I'm off the hook.

Is anyone realistic about to-do lists? I know we're all supposedly total fakes when it comes to a New Year's list, but a to-do is supposed to be in earnest. I looked at my lists for the past week and saw that they were all exactly 50 percent done. So I conclude I must be doing something wrong.

But so far I've acted on my first NY resolution, which is to read more. Over the past two days I've finished two books. Since they were sick days this was relatively easy to do. Let's see how I do in the hale and hearty days ahead.