Monday, December 28, 2009

Stock Tips! Travelers' Tips! Underwear!

We are off to JFK airport for the flight home. I wonder if they'll insist on checking everyone's underwear. In light of the recent terrorist attack- botched, thank God- on that flight from Amsterdam to Detroit, DIH is prepared to make a few predictions for the New Year. Get 'em while they're hot, investors, the early bird gets the worm and all that:

1. Victoria's Secret will have a record-breaking year. They will introduce a new line of traveler's lingerie that will be guaranteed to dazzle the eyes of the entire Homeland Security department. One peek and the most case-hardened agent will beg for more. Tip: smile sweetly and say "Only if you promise to let me catch my flight, handsome."

2. Fruit of the Loom, on the other hand, will show disappointing sales, as travelers of the male persuasion give up on underwear altogether. Which they've always wanted an excuse to do, and now they have it.

3. Look for special deals in catalogs such as Brookstone and LL Bean Travel Edition.

4. Other specialty catalogs aimed at folks in the terrorist biz will emphasize flame-retardants. Unfortunately they will not also emphasize stupidity retardants. Sigh.

5. Makers of Mormon underwear are holding their breath.

1 comment:

HEATHER said...

BWHAHAHAHA!! Hope you have a safe flight!