Sunday, November 08, 2009

"Dear Angela- Um, about next week...."

"President Barack Obama has RSVPed “nein” to Chancellor Merkel’s invitation to Germany to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. " -NRO

FROM: Barack Obama
The White House
Washington, D. C.

Dear Prime Minister Merkel,

Thanks for the invitation to observe the anniversary next week. Gosh, it was just so sweet of you to think of me! But I just can't make it this time. It's tough, you know, what with the health care thing going on here, plus the fact that I don't speak Berlinian- what if I got lost on my way from the airport? Who would I ask for directions?

Besides, you just know Michelle would absolutely insist on bringing a gift. And no offense, Angie, but you're a little hard to shop for these days. Sure, back when the Wall was still up I could have just grabbed some cigarettes or toilet paper and you would have been thrilled, am I right? But now, well, I'd probably have to compete with whatever the Brits are bringing. And trust me,they give some snooty gifts. On the bright side, you can sell them on eBay. Maybe even swap 'em for some decent earrings. (Oops- I shouldn't have let that slip. Be a pal and don't tell Michelle!)

Besides, the girls are in school that day. And you know I could never leave them out of such a historic occasion. It's either piss you off or piss off the powers that be at Sidwell Friends, and frankly that school is costing me WAAAY too much to risk not having the entire faculty on my side, just in case of, you know, a problem or something. You have no idea about Quakers, they can really go for the jugular if the mood strikes them.

So, anyway. Have fun observing the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin wall. I'm sure it'll be, um, historic. Will the ceremony be conducted in East Berlinian or West Berlinian? Just curious- I like to toss off little factiods at the dinner table.

Your friend,

Barack Obama

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