Monday, September 01, 2008

Welcome Conventioneers!

Hello, and welcome to the Twin Cities! Aren't you glad the GOP didn't pick New Orleans for this bash? We don't get hurricanes here, but we might be able to deliver a tornado or two. Keep your fingers crossed.

So, you're probably wondering the same thing DIH has been wondering since she moved here: Why the h-e-double-hockey-sticks would anyone live up here? It's hot and steamy in the summertime and life-threateningly cold in winter time. It's a thousand miles from any decent beach. The accents are funny, the natives freakishly tall, and it's not like there's a Chinatown you can retreat to to feel normal-sized again.

So what gives? What's to love about MSP?

We, let's see. We got lakes! Not, I mean, over in St Paul where the convention is. They don't have lakes there. In fact aside from the State Capitol, the Cathedral and the Xcel Center I'm not sure what they do have over there. But there are definitely no lakes,unless you count the ones in the little parks. If you wan lakes you gotta come over here.

Uh... yes. Lakes.

We have some nice farmers' markets. And I'm not talking those chi-chi NYC farmers' markets where uptowners go shopping so they can feel real and close to the land and all that b-s. We have real farmers. Want to buy some buffalo meat? The people who sell it at our farmers' markets can tell you when you steak was last seen walking around. Now that's close enough to the land for me.

DIH is sure if she gave it some more thought she'd come up with more inviting things about the TC area but right now she has to go walk the dog around the lake. I'd love to let her take a quick dip in the water, too, but that's illegal. The microbes in our lakes are for humans only. Personally, I'd never set my big toe into them.

3 comments:

Joke said...

Buffalo is good eats.

At least that's something the conventioneers have to look forward to.

Wake me up in 2012.

-J.

Jackie Parkes said...

Hi do you mind adding me to your links?

Joke said...

P.S. I am less depressed that I was on Monday.

As you were.