Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Morning Routine, Revised

Revised for spring.

Wake up an hour earliy. Debate getting up and making myself useful. Reject the idea, since as soon as I get up so will the dog, which will wake everyone up.

Alarm. Get up. Forget to suck on purple inhaler.

Take dog out to yard. Realize I've forgotten purple inhaler. Key to this realization is the onset of asthma attack. Dash back inside.

Search for other inhaler. Find it. Debate sucking on it immediately or knocking back my morning super-nutrient shake first. If I take the inhaler first I'll be breathing but high as a kite. If I stop to knock back a shake I might die of asphyxiation before I finish it. Decisions, decisions.

Shove inhaler between teeth and inhaaaaaaale.
Breathe.

Blame ensuing adrenaline rush on the three cups of coffee I will now chug.

As long as I stay on schedule I figure I'm ok.

3 comments:

Joke said...

1- If the inhaler is the Chapstik(TM)-sized model, it is to be worn around the neck at all times.

2- Make your super-nutrient SoylentGreen(TM) shake in a large batch. Serve one portion into a plastic cup (you have a little kid, you have plastic cups) and freeze rock-solid. When you go to sleep, place frozen SoylentGreen(TM) shake on your night stand.

3- Wake up and inhale and drink semi-simultaneously.

Anything else?

-J.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, can you revisemy filing system?
Thanks Joke- S

Joke said...

I'm a tradistionalist, so I advocate going with the "Alphabetical" thing of our forebears.

But that's just me.

-J.