With the New Year looming DIH decided to do some soul-searching.
No. No. Let's be honest here. Let's rewrite that, with the truth.
Ever since the dog chewed the plug off the TV set and we were deprived of the Law and Order reruns that were a staple of our family life, DIH has found herself wandering onto the risky ground of soul-searching.
There. That's better.
On this Feast of St Stephen we are once again snowed in here in Minneapolis. The stuff is still falling, so anyone who thinks I'm going out there with a shovel yet can just sit back and wait. Take that, city ordinances.
So, having nothing better to do, DIH has begun the daily bit of soul-searching with the help of the Internet.
As I've mentioned earlier, DIH and a small group of hardy souls did a Bible Study course together last year. The course started out great, then kind of fell apart after lesson 12. Nevertheless we continued to gather and listen to the CDs because one of us had a killer cappucino machine and- um, because, uh, because we felt it was important to follow through.
We are about to embark upon a new course, this one a bit different. We think it will work out.
Just in case. however, I decided to do a little internet searching of Bible study courses, specifically those aimed at women.
And oh, dear God. What a wasteland.
Here's something called "Creative Ladies' MInistry." This is from their "themes overview:"
"Life In Christ—Good To The Last Drop: With coffee as an inspiration, this theme revolves around how having Christ in our lives can enrich our lives and the necessity of spending time with Him."
"In The Bag: With handbags and purses as an inspiration, this theme revolves around what we carry with us on a daily basis as a Christian woman."
"Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend: This revolves around being sparkly for Christ."
"Sparkly for Christ"? WTF?
But I can't leave out my favorite:
"The Wrinkle-Free Woman: With a starch can label as its inspiration, this theme can really be geared to a lot of different areas---Starch of honesty, Starch of faith, Starch of prayer, Starch of sweetness and kindness, Starch of concern and caring."
[Note to self- find out what a "starch can" is. Or don't, it probably isn't anything important.]
Then there's something called "Girlfriends Unlimited:"
"Make your church the place women connect... relax and refresh... share their hearts shape each others' lives."
They have a theme song! "Come on come on, girlfriend, let's have some fun grilfriend, you and me we can be a little bit crazy, don't you know God is amazing! Ooh, oo-ooh..."
Um... I'm gonna give that one a pass.
I gotta think about this. Maybe somewhere out there there's a womens' study and spirituality program that's right for me. Something with no "crafts," no polka-dots, and no goddam starch cans.