I Know the Feeling, Al

Is It Wise to Be So Smart?
By Dana Milbank
Wednesday, May 30, 2007; Page A02 Washington Post


A capacity crowd of 1,500 people jammed into Lisner Auditorium at George Washington University last night for Al Gore's speech and book-signing. But the numbers don't matter: Even if Gore were speaking before a sellout crowd at Verizon Center, he would still be the smartest guy in the room.

He reminded his listeners of this repeatedly last night.

"Were it possible to summarize this book in only 15 minutes, it wouldn't be the book it is, but I'll do my best," he announced en route to a 34-minute talk.

He waxed esoteric about the ancients: "Both the Agora and the Forum were foremost in the minds of our Founders. . . . Not a few of them read both Latin and Greek, as you know."

He waxed erudite about the Enlightenment: "Gibbon's 'The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire' was first published the same year as the Declaration of Independence and Adam Smith's 'The Wealth of Nations.' "

And he waxed informed about the Information Age: "One of the challenges in discussing the premise of this book is to establish as a concrete reality the importance of this virtual space, forgive the phrase, within which the conversation of democracy takes place."

Gore practically oozes gray matter.

"It's the biggest problem he's got," said Schwartz, from Germantown. "People don't want somebody who makes them feel stupid."



Yeah, I know how it is, Al. It's hard to be popular when you're as brilliant as you or me.

I mean, look at my career. Know why I'm not famous yet? That's right, too smart. Every word I've written is, let's be frank, a freakin' gem. And that kind of perfection scares people.

I mean, look at our fellow smarties:

Plankton. And people actually prefer Spongebob to him!
Wile E. Coyote. The Super-Genius. And who gets all the applause? That air-head Road Runner.
Susan (same name as me, ironic, huh?) Pevensey of The Chronicles of Narnia. Look where being smart got her in the end.
Two words: Lex Luthor. 'Nuf said.

Face it, Al, the world just isn't ready for the likes of us. That's our cross to bear. Going to the Mensa meeting tonight? Me neither, working on my Nobel lecture. You are too, right?

Comments

  1. Anonymous6:33 PM

    Brilliant satire. Just brilliant. Now, do you suppose that Owlgore is smart enough to understand what you have written?

    Great post.

    ReplyDelete

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