Bring It On

Today is Ash Wednesday,and so far I'm pretty satisfied with how my Lent is shaping up. I have a sinus infection, the stuff I'm taking for it is making me feel like a zombie and we had no power this morning. Yes, things are looking very promising.

I've decided to give up wine for Lent. This is a bold move on my part, since the last time I gave up alcohol for Lent my husband threatened to move out- something about my being even more of a pain in the a-- than usual, I don't remember exactly. But I'm going to do it anyway.

The chief virtue of giving up wine is the fact that it's easy to remember you gave it up. One decision, you're done. I find that is key for a successful votive sacrifice.

Other things I give up for Lent:

-talking to myself (very hard for me but reassuring for my family, who renew their hope that maybe I'm not headed for the loony bin after all)

-honking when the car ahead of me doesn't notice the light has changed fast enough (probably doesn't count for much in Minnesota but a big deal in NY)

-I'm sure there must be others, but like I said, between the antihistamines and the antibiotics I'm kind of a zombie these days.

Oh, I know. I'll give up arguing with The Fish Nazi.

Every Friday in Lent our little parish has a fish fry. Until I came to the Midwest I wasn't sure what a fish fry was. It turns out to be a big dinner of deep-fried fish, often held in a church basement. I gather they're especially big in Catholic parishes, since we dont' eat meat on Fridays in Lent, and this way you don't have to stink up your kitchen frying your own fish at home.

The Friday Night Fish Fry at Holy Family is presided over by the Fish Nazi. This is a woman who apparently holds the copyright to the breading recipe, or something. If you show up late she turns you away foodless, regardless of how much deep-fried stuff is still left.

I showed up late a few times last year. This is because I had to go to a gym class before dinner on Fridays if I was going to justify all that deep frying. Unfortunately this meant I would get to the church just as the Fish Nazi was deciding to wind down operations. I'd be on the end of the line, and when I got up to the counter the FN would look me up and down, then say, "You're too late! We're closed!"

"But I'm only five minutes--"

"We have to clean up! Sorry! Come on time next time!"

"But I--"

"There's a McDonald's down the street. Goodbye!"

We'll see how it goes this year. The truth is I'd rather be home having linguine with clam sauce anyway. With a nice glass of chianti- oh. Right.

Well, I guess I could always try fasting. It's only forty days.

Comments

  1. DIH,

    Eating deep-fried fish IS penance. If Satan had tempted Christ to commande the stones in the desert to turn into fried fish Our Lord would have laughed so hard that the crucifixion wouldn't have taken place until 85AD.

    Fried calamari and some (not most) fried shrimp are an exception.

    Consider yourself blessed if the FN ignores your pleas for mortification-by-fried-fish.

    -J.

    ReplyDelete
  2. So true about the calamari.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Y'know, I'm still shuddering about the fried fish. That's like eating at a fish & chips shop in the bad part of Purgatory.

    -J.

    ReplyDelete

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