Friday, December 08, 2006

Party Time

DIH is hosting her annual St. Nicholas day party tonight. The previous days have been consumed with preparations. So today she feels prepared to offer some helpful hints for the hostess.

1. Read the instuctions on your new iPod. You have no idea how much easier this will make things.

2. Remember that children will eat anythng, or nothing. If they're the sort who eat anything you're golden; if they're the picky variety you couldn't please them anyway, so why stress about it? Make hot dogs and let the chips fall where they may, 'scuse the atrocious pun.

3. Ditto bachelors. Never worry the food won't be good enough. They'll eat anything that isn't walking.

4. Tidy up your bookcases. A messy tower of paperbacks will spoil the decor of any room.

5. Tips on the above:
a. First and foremost hide all those "I'm-a-pathetic-loser" self-help books you've acquired over the years. Better still, toss 'em. If you're not improved by now you're never gonna be, so why have the constant reproach of "You Can Be A Real Adult" around?
b. Ditto the old college-era books you keep thinking you'll read some day. Face it, no one is going to believe you actually read Catullus.

5. Put as much as possible out of reach.

6. Remember that kid who turned on the stove when no one was looking and made that cute little fire in the kitchen? Remember that kennel from the puppy-training days? Now's the time to drag it out of the garage.

I'm sure I'll have more hints after the fact, so stay tuned to this space for all your Christmas season advice needs.


*mary* said...

I just saw a picture in Reminisce magazine of a Christmas tree set up INSIDE an old playpen, to keep the children away from the ornaments. Great idea!

Anonymous said...

Aww, that's sad. I love Catullus.