THE SCENE: Barack "Next President of the United States" Obama is giving a speech in New Hampshire. In the crowd he spots Maureen Dowd of the New York Times. Maureen has recently written a column that refers to Obama's enormous ears.
Immediately following the speech Obama makes a beeline for Dowd.
As recorded by C-SPAN:
OBAMA (off mic): You talked about my ears, and I just want to put you on notice: I'm very sensitive about -- What I told them was, ''I was teased relentlessly when I was a kid about my big ears.'"
DOWD (purring): We're trying to toughen you up
Not that the NYT is campaigning for this guy or anything. But have they thought about what this could mean?
THE SCENE: 2009. President Barack Obama meets with Iranian president Ahmadinejad.
OBAMA: I'm putting you on notice.
AHMADINEJAD: We will bury you!
OBAMA: I meant lay off my ears!
AHMADINEJAD: We will bury you, Dumbo-head!
THE SCENE: 2010. President Obama meets with Democrat flacks.
JAMES CARVILLE: Mr. President, we've been conducting a listening tour, and--
OBAMA: What's that, a joke?
OBAMA: A listening tour'? Was that a wisecrack?
CARVILLE: I meant-
OBAMA: I know what you meant, baldy!
CARVILLE: Now hold on a minute-
OBAMA: See how you like it! Baldy-bean, Baldy-bean!
CARVILLE: Mr President, there has to be a better way to handle Iran.
THE SCENE: 2011. President Obama meets with Ahmadinejad.
AHMADINEJAD: We meet again.
OBAMA: Nose to nose.
OBAMA: Oh nothing. Look. I have a plan right here.
AHMADINEJAD: You have--
OBAMA: It's right here. Right under your nose.
AHMADINEJAD: Ah- ah-
OBAMA. Hand me my umbrella, I think he's going to sneeze.
AHMADINEJAD: Your negotiating skills-
OBAMA: BIG NOSE! BIG NOSE! BIG NOSE!!!
I can't wait for this campaign. It should be a real blast from what I hear--
Oops. Sorry, Barack.