Saturday, November 18, 2006

Season's Greetings

The catalogs are arriving thick and fast, and it isn't even Advent yet. By Gaudete Sunday I should be able to build a cabin out of rolled-up LL Beans and all the others that get stuffed into my mailbox this time of year.

Still it allows for some early holiday shopping. And as always DIH likes to deal with her favorite gift-giving questions first: what to give when a really mixed message is called for?

One solution presented itself the other day, in a gardening catalog. Jackson and Perkins is having a sale on roses. Who do you know who really deserves the "Social Climber" rosebush? 43% off!

Or how about a "Pooping Moose?" Hand-carved in Alaska! Lift the wooden moose's head, his tail goes up, and out come M&Ms all over the kitchen counter. If that's what you filled it with, of course.

Actually the Pooping Moose is kind of cool, I'm thinking about getting one myself. But I will definitely give a pass to the life-size collapsible plywood moosehead you can mount above your fireplace. The trick here is who deserves to be known as the dolt who shelled out three hundred bucks for that work of art. Not yours truly, please God.

Oh- here's a good one. "The 'Now" Watch." "A watch for those who live in the moment. Wheels, pins and jewels have been replaced with sand and a stone etched 'NOW.' The battery never needs replacing because there isn't one." DIH is not making this up. This is the actual catalog description. The "NOW" Watch goes for $46.95. I am told it takes $23. to buy an outhouse for a poor family India. For the same amount of money you could buy two, and chuck "The 'NOW' Watch" down one of them. You'd still have almost a buck left over. Two birds with one stone, not a bad deal.

I have a few more favorites but as I plan to give them as gifts to the family I'd better not blow the surprise by blogging about them here.

I love the holidays!


Anonymous said...

Our family got my dad the "Pooping Moose" for Christmas a few years ago, and now it's one of his most prized possessions. Definitely worth a buy.

Cathy_of_Alex said...


In the "old days" you could wipe with all those left over LL Bean catalogs and discard them down the outhouse in India. Thereby, saving money on toilet paper so you can buy more useless junk, er, gifts.