PATRICK: smashed car into U.S. Government property.
MEL: Speeding on a highway.
PATRICK: "How dare you- I am a United States Congressman!"
Mel: "I am so f----d."
PATRICK: "I'm late for a vote!" [with Congress out of session]
MEL: "Huhhhh? Whahhhh.... echhhh..."
PATRICK: No Breathalizer test.
MEL: Given Breathalizer test on the scene.
PATRICK: Chauffered home by U.S. Capitol Police.
MEL: Cuffed and taken to jail in squadcar.
PATRICK: slapped on wrist.
MEL: will probably get a lot more than that.
NEW YORK TIMES ON PATRICK: "This poor troubled lad, the family curse, etc."
NEW YORK TIMES ON MEL: DIH can hardly wait.