Reading my parish bulletin again. As always, yet another item ends with the same words:
"Any questions? Call Sharon."
I have no idea who "Sharon " is. But as near as I can tell, every pain-in-the-ass question in the universe gets addressed to her.
"Help us out with our Parish Blood Drive! You need to be in reasonable health and not grossly overweight. Any questions, call Sharon."
"Annointing of the Sick will take place the Tuesday. The first grace of this sacrament is to one of strengthening to overcome the difficulties of old age. Also, as the Catechism states, 'if he has forgiven sins, they will be forgiven.' Call Sharon if you have questions."
[I swear. I only edited that one a little. Seriously.]
Sharon gets to handle questions on everything from weekly devotions to the annual men's retreat (also known as a "poker weekend"). She answers travel questions in a parish that sponsors everything from pilgrimages to Lourdes to big game fishing in Alaska. (They're leaving July 17, if anyone's interested. Bring your own tackle if you like.) Need to book the parish hall? Need to sign your kid up for firearms safety? Need to fire off a few rounds yourself? Call Sharon.
I've never met the lady. but from what I've read, I've determined that she is either a) preternaturally patient or b) heavily armed.
Having met some of the people Sharon gets to deal with, however, I'm going with option (b) for now.