Tuesday, June 20, 2006

One Down...

...one to go.

DIH is on the East Coast for two weddings. The first- DIH's baby sister's- is blessedly wrapped up.

It wasn't easy.

Two days before the wedding no one was sure if the groom's parents were both coming. Rehearsal is scheduled around them.

Rehearsal is rescheduled when it is announced they will both come. Set for 5:30 pm.

Exhausted, on-the-brink Matron of Honor (MOH)- another sister- announces she will have everyone back at her house for a cookout at 7pm.

Report comes in that car carrying bride's brother, sister-in-law and four nephews under the age of 12 has broken down somewhere on the south shore of LI. One of the nephews is the ring bearer. Who will not make rehearsal.

On the way to the rehearsal we all learn the real reason for wedding rehearsals: to make sure everyone can find the right church. We figured this out after we all showed up at the wrong church. Churches, actually. One was Methodist.

Find correct church at 6:15. Apologize for being so late. Groom's father still not there.

8pm: Father of the groom arrives.

10pm: family show up at MOH's house for cookout. Sister who spent two hours cleaning the deck (me) pissed off it's too dark to appreciate her efforts.

11:30 pm: groom's family, all Cubans, start doing shots of some strange clear liquor. MOH realizes they could be around all night. MOH has nervous breakdown.

1 am: guests depart.

6am: all up for hairdresser. Hairdresser is a cross-dresser. Men in family warned if they say ONE WORD they're all dead men.
Car swap arranged for bride's brother and family. Also mechanic located.

8am: another nephew has shouting match with mother (MOH). MOH has second nervous breakdown.

10:35 am: depart for church.

11 am: Wedding goes off pretty well, considering. Flower girl has sudden attack of stage fright. Mom (DIH) ends up walking down aisle scattering rose petals as small child drags on her elbow.

Best new piece of wedding wisdom is from the bride's brother:

"You know what's great about bringing four kids to a wedding? Extra champagne."


Joke said...

Cubans? You should have asked! I would have clued you in and your life would have been immeasurably easier.

Next time, just ask.


Adoro Te Devote said...

LOL! Thanks for the laugh. (I hope everyone's ok.)