I'm trying very hard not to obsess about squirrels.
Last fall I planted some 200 tulip bulbs in front of my house. Full disclosure: actually, I paid someone a ridiculous amount of money to plant 200 tulip bulbs in front of my house. "Just wait 'til spring," he said. "It will be glorious."
So Saturday I went out and counted: there are over 50 perfect little holes in my yard.
Squirrels. Eating my tulip bulbs.
My property is infested with squirrels. I blame the local tree-huggers who disguise themselves as Tree Service Guys. We had a couple of them here last fall. "Take down that one and that one," we said, pointing to the looming oaks that overshadow our house.
"Oh no. We can't do that. Oaks like that are rare in Minnesota. We just couldn't take them down. What would the folks at the Arboretum say?"
Well, we wanted to fit in in Minnesota. So we let the trees live. Creating, as every rodent in Minneapolis apparently knows, a 24-hour acorn buffet.
Now, it's one thing to be Squirrel Central if all they want to do is eat acorns. But when they go after my tulip bulbs- well.
This means war.
By the end of the weekend I concluded that my previous squirrel elimination method- running around the front yard yelling and throwing rocks- was not working very well.
Plan A being a flop, I went on to Plan B.
Last night I went rummaging through all the boxes in the garage until I found it: one of those supersonic animal annoyers. You know, those little boxes you plug in and they supposedly emit a sound that humans can't hear but bugs the hell out of vermin. I plugged it in the outlet that I think must be meant for Christmas lights in the front porch and turned it on.
I suppose the only thing to do is count the holes again and see if the gadget was any kind of deterrent.
I do have a bb gun in the garage....