Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Take My Old Testament- Please!

It's Wednesday night, and I'm supposed to be at Bible study.

But I'm not.

I signed up for a 14-week course on the Bible. It was just the sort of thing I wanted: The Bible by historical timeline, rather than by book. No ploughing through freakin' Deuteronomy just for the sake of it. Dates, empires, rulers, and battles. That's my OT.

Okay, not really, but come on, it's a lot of fun that way.

The course meet Wednesday nights over in St Paul. It's quite a well-known course. taught by a former Protestant minister who converted to Catholicism. Obviously this put him out of work. So he became a professor of Bible studies.

The trouble was the material.

I just couldnt' take it any more. This guy told the worst jokes I've heard in years.

"I stopped at a health food store and bought this Nutria bar, but it turned out to be for women! I was afraid to eat it- I thought I'd get all moody!"


"Remember, by this time the Isrealites had been in Egypt a long time. They talked like Egyptians. They even [arm gestures] walked like Egyptians!"


"Yes, the Israelites ate manna in the desert, and yes, they got bored with it. But they could always make manana bread!"

Stop. Stop. You're killing me.

No, REALLY. You're killing me.

It's not that I can't take the occasional bad joke. But this was after 9pm, in the middle of the week, and I had a long drive home ahead of me... my resistance was just too low.

I feel kind of bad about dropping out. I really want to learn more about Scripture, and I had my Bible all indexed with those cute little tags and everything. Maybe someday someone else will come along with a good course. And I'll be a better person and more patient and all that.

Until then I'm enjoying my little index tags. Might even read more, too.



emma said...

There is an excellent fairly new Bible study called 'Catholic Way Bible Study'. Living in the 'Bible Belt' I was getting ready to join one at a local protestant church, when unbelievably my parish found this one & we started it last fall. It is highly recommended & the story behind it is even more revealing!

Joke said...

It's also useful if you can find a Jesuit who is not a total loony. (We're fortunate here in SoFla that way, but I realize sane Jesuits are pretty thin on the ground in the rest of the Anglosphere.)

SOMEWHERE online I found a really cool Bible Study thing...I found it flipping around from Scott Hahn's site. [shrug] Try it, what's the worst that could happen?


Joke said...

Here it is:

No direct experience with it, etc. YMMV, yadda, yadda, yadda...


Christopher McLaughlin said...


Through Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. of Wheaton , Illinois there is a One Year Chronological Bible that might meet what you require. It's not the Catholic Bible, it's the NIV version, however, if you flip to the daily readings you'll see it starts with Genesis then to Job, then back to Genesis, then to Exodus, to Leviticus, to Numbers, to Deuteronomy, to Psalms, back to Deuteronomy, then to Joshua... etc etc. You don't have to buy the NIV version, just check it out and copy the table of contents.

Paul said...

I'd always advise people to start with the New Testament - especially someone from an RC background - and most are - here in Ireland. One the gospels, such as Luke, then Acts and maybe an odd chapter in the Old Testament - I did read through the Bible a few times but it can get very tedious - I don't think it was meant to be read like this - some do read 3 chapters a day and 5 on a Sunday - that'll get you through in a year.