Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I Guess "Amen" Is Out, Too

I just got back from my "Body Pump" class at the Y. It's a good class, kind of basic weight training, and since everyone would see me if I tried to sneak out early I usually get a full workout. It's always packed.

You know the kind of class: babes with biceps and strap-on microphones. "Okay, now squeeze those glutes!" and "Isolate that muscle, ooh, this feels goooood!" Loud music to help you along.

They don't vary the music much. They've been playing the same tracks for the past six weeks. The first time I went we started with something called "Voodoo Child." Next came some techno-porn crap whose only virtue was clarity of enunciation: "Push me, hurt me, so I can get my satisfaction."

Then the blonde at the front of the gym announced, "Okay everyone, we're going to do triceps now! Now this next track is just for fun, it's a fun song! Don't pay any attention to the lyrics, just try to catch the rhythm!"

See if you can guess what the song was.

Give up?

It was "Spirit In The Sky."

That was the song they didnt' want us to notice too much. Voodoo and sado-masochism were all right, but "Spirit In The Sky" was dangerous.

After class I just had to ask. "Why didn't you want people to notice the words?"

"Oh," the blonde lowered her voice, "we cant' have people listening to anything about Jesus."

Very few things give me the urge to start a Baptist prayer meeting, but that one nearly did.

I feel sorry for lefties sometimes. They must live in a very scary world.

11 comments:

LorraineJ said...

Does it bother anyone else that this happened at the Y? YW or YM, the rest is Christian Association, isn't it? Why do they need to distance themselves from Jesus???

Des_Moines_Girl said...

Dang! That's just wacko! Next time they play raunchy lyrics you don't like you should complain loud and long!

Jeff Miller said...

Though I think one part of that song could only be sung by the Virgin Mary.

"Never been a sinner I never sinned"

This Pastor's Wife said...

I don't know why this kind of thing continues to surprise me, but it does. Were you just speechless? That's what happens to me. I become so shocked I can't think of a word to say until much later in the day. I hate that.

Sue said...

No. Caroline, I wasn't speechless. I've come to expect this kind of thing.
The thing is there really isn't much you can say.

Joke said...

The correct response to "We can't have..." is "Yeah. That'd be bad. Next thing you know 'those people' will be burning embassies."

-J.

NewParadigmPlease said...

Maybe I can help you with a good laugh and some keen insight into feminists. Fire-up the link below and go to the 'Why I don't take feminists seriously' articles (I-VI) by Mike Adams...

http://www.townhall.com/opinion/contributors/mikeadams.html

emma said...

Don't forget you live in Minnesota...brain freeze is a common disorder there.

Christine said...

Our YMCA plays some really raunchy music sometimes, too. The beat helps you keep up sometimes, but honestly, I wonder why we can't find something that doesn't talk about milkshakes and charging for them (use your imagination). Of course, when we don't have THAT, we've got classic rock being set to a heavy dance beat (Alabama and Lynard Skinnard - it's almost painful).

Maybe I could suggest some DC Talk or something...

Mister Know It All said...

Maybe somebody Jewish complained about songs that mentioned Jesus. Maybe the local gay atheists want the Y M C A to be more like The Village People's song.

The only thing you can do is complain to the YMCA about the music and ask them why songs that mention Jesus are off limits. Go over the instructor's head, if need be. Tell them that the instructor's remarks were as offensive as someone telling an ethnic joke and prefacing the joke with the question "Is anyone here _____?"

It's amazing how quickly that kind of stupidity will stop, if you call her on it.

Kim said...

I take a class like that. I think the teacher is a masochist...I think they all are. At least though she plays music without words. I get embarrassed at some of these lyrics. But hey..I get embarrassed when we're doing glute lifts and she keeps saying sssssqqqquuueeeezzzeee. Then again, I get embarrassed when we're doing glute lifts period.