I just got back from my "Body Pump" class at the Y. It's a good class, kind of basic weight training, and since everyone would see me if I tried to sneak out early I usually get a full workout. It's always packed.
You know the kind of class: babes with biceps and strap-on microphones. "Okay, now squeeze those glutes!" and "Isolate that muscle, ooh, this feels goooood!" Loud music to help you along.
They don't vary the music much. They've been playing the same tracks for the past six weeks. The first time I went we started with something called "Voodoo Child." Next came some techno-porn crap whose only virtue was clarity of enunciation: "Push me, hurt me, so I can get my satisfaction."
Then the blonde at the front of the gym announced, "Okay everyone, we're going to do triceps now! Now this next track is just for fun, it's a fun song! Don't pay any attention to the lyrics, just try to catch the rhythm!"
See if you can guess what the song was.
It was "Spirit In The Sky."
That was the song they didnt' want us to notice too much. Voodoo and sado-masochism were all right, but "Spirit In The Sky" was dangerous.
After class I just had to ask. "Why didn't you want people to notice the words?"
"Oh," the blonde lowered her voice, "we cant' have people listening to anything about Jesus."
Very few things give me the urge to start a Baptist prayer meeting, but that one nearly did.
I feel sorry for lefties sometimes. They must live in a very scary world.